If you can’t beat them, join them.

Prologue: I am seeing, a lot recently, that it’s healthy to write just to write. Exercise your creativity and change your daily routine. So here we are. This may be short lived, but it could also explode and make me a millionaire (podcast deal to follow). The grammar won’t be correct, my views, although correct, will not always side with yours and you may only end up reading along to humor me. But as the saying goes, we’re not here for a long time, we’re here for a good time. So let’s get after it. Enjoy BAR talk.

I’ve never considered myself a follower over the last 30 years. Aside from following every clothing trend from Oshkosh b’gosh to Ralph Lauren Polos, I attempted to choose my own path most of my life. In this attempt, I changed my name from Brian to Willis for the entirety of 7th grade, purchased two pet turtles without my parents’ permission and totaled two cars faster than anyone else in the history of motor vehicles. Which all led to my conformation back into a follower. This week, I’ll officially join the rest of my family as a Toyota Highlander driver. But before I give my thoughts on my new ride…

2009-2014: Not many kids get to experience the luxury of a Ford Escape featuring leather seats, a sun roof and speakers perfectly suited for the bass of the 2 Fast, 2 Furious soundtrack. But I did. I never named the car because a first love is the hardest and naming her would’ve made the inevitable end to our relationship that much harder. I’ll always recall braves games, spring break trips, and solo mountain drives. A lot of good memories shared that were cut short too soon. A rainy day in Augusta and an unfortunate left turn at the crescent of a hill ended our relationship. A lot of people blame me (the other driver, witnesses, the police officer on scene, etc.) but I’m still petitioning for a stop light at that intersection.

2014-2021: When you total a car and buy a new (used) car, you’re hesitant to get behind the wheel. Your only thoughts are what if I total this one too? Would I lose my license? Would my family disown me? What a speed bump in life that would be! Yeah I’m gonna throw in as many puns as I can while I’m on here. Keep reading. Factor that anxiety in with the fact that your wife not-so-secretly wants to drive the new car, you land yourself in a 2006 black four door Honda Civic. I didn’t love this car at first, so I also chose not to name it. However, it still had a sun roof so I was set to make the best of it. It grew on me. In the first few months, I found a secret stash of chocolate morsels in the glove box. A real pleasant surprise. When asked about it, Amanda responded, “Oh, that’s my emergency chocolate.” I was afraid to ask any further. I found myself getting closer parking spots by being compact and I even got out of driving on friend/family trips because I couldn’t fit enough people in my 2006 black four door Honda Civic. Hell the 2006 black four door Honda Civic even ended up being featured in a trivia game on a cruise ship in the middle of the Atlantic. What a ride. This car even survived through my second accident which is also being claimed as my fault. By me. We don’t need to drive head on into that one. But having a newborn at home definitely factored into it and it’s how we get to our featured storyline.

2020: Jane is born beginning discussions of a second, larger car for safety. Surprise! It wasn’t Brian’s doing this time… well kinda.

2021: We buy the Highlander from Mom and Dad. I am appreciative and grateful they purchased another Highlander, well before they needed a new car, opening up their car as the most viable option. Our yearly search got very “chippy” when the vehicle supply started to disappear. Now we can get into my recap thus far of the classic 2013 Toyota Highlander.

First off, I want to say it is an honor to be joining the rest of the family. I honestly felt a divide at holidays and events because I drove a 2006 black four door Honda Civic. I wasn’t in the Highlander club and I had no one to blame but myself. Now I’m here. Part of the gang.

Before I was allowed to look at the vehicle, I had to agree to an inspection and introduction walk with Mom. Once completed, I slid into the front seat to get a feel for the inside. The first thing I noticed was the smooth leather sliding along my under thighs. Felt good, cool. I didn’t take much else in until I drove it to work that first day.

I was about 7 miles into that first drive and it just didn’t feel right. Why? It’s a beautiful car. Then it hit me. I felt like Mom was watching me. Betsy Blue was her car and I felt all the pressure of maintaining its impeccable inside, the flawless service guide, and maintaining my hands inside the marks permanently left at 10 and 2. That’s when I knew I had to make a change. A change to the name. I decided to call her Patteye, pronounced Patti. She’s always watching. Not only will this name allow me to always focus on maintaining the excellent condition of the car, but it’s never a bad thing to always have your mother watching over you.

Five days in and Patteye and me are gelling. I already have a top 5 favorite things about her. 1. I no longer have to wear headphones to listen to music in the car. 2. The rear view mirror is some magic that blocks out the lights of cars behind you while driving at night. I used to have to manually flip it from day to night in the 2006bfdhc. 3. Leg room. 4. Rear air. I never have had it in Escape or Civic and I always worry about my passengers. You guys are my priority. 5. Back up camera. Cause turning around is for suckers.

Basically, I’m just here to say it’s an honor to join the rest of the family in owning a Toyota Highlander. I hope to make the rest of them proud and not be an illegitimate addition to the group. It’s been a long time coming and I’m happy to be a follower.