Everything Good Comes to an End. Unless…

Everyone has an opinion or belief on almost every topic that surrounds them. Most everyone, that I know at least, exercises their right to let that opinion be known. It’s what causes the world to go round. Differing opinions/beliefs are the cause of inventions, religions, political parties and war. Imagine if we all agreed and believed the same truth? How peaceful and boring would that be?! One concept/idea that will forever be debated is that of the afterlife. The big question.

What happens to our spirit when our body perishes on Earth? Most people tend to agree with their religion’s view on the afterlife. The most common beliefs are heaven and hell, reincarnation, or an eternal oblivion. For the sake of this blog, I want to focus solely on reincarnation. The central tenet for many religions including Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism and Sikhism states that an aspect of a living being starts a new life in a different physical body after each life. Let’s play with this idea and add some of our own rules.

You die. Blunt, I know, but we’re all headed that way. You get to come back as anything you’d like and you get to retain your memory from your last life. However, you do not get to pick your circumstances and you are brought back at the infant stage of your choice. No “I want to be the son of Jeff Bezos!” Also a no go – “I want to be a butterfly!” You’ll have to put in the work as a caterpillar sweetheart. Sure, being a human sounds great knowing what you knew from your past life. But you could be born into a different world, country and circumstance where none of that applies. Take that into account. So let’s get down to it.

I considered a lot of different factors when coming down to my top choices. 1. I’ve been a human. Hell of a ride so far and I have no regrets (except a few left turns. See first blog). I don’t need a do over.

2. 75% of the earth is water. Now I haven’t really maximized my exploring potential on land in my 30 years, but I still think it’s important to see all the world has to offer. Also a huge fan of seafood. Sea creature is a must.

3. Choosing something at the top of a food chain. One of my choices goes against this, but in general, you can’t be dying in year 2 of your second life.

4. What can I not do that I’ve always wanted to do.

Taking into account the above factors, I give you my top 5 options for reincarnation.

5. Asian Elephant – The only choice that stays on land for me and yeah it’s a boring one. With a 45-50 year expected lifespan, I’ll have the time to explore Asian culture and cuisine. I do love Asian food. Would also be pretty cool to be regarded as the largest land mammal on the continent. The key factors for me here were new countries, long lifespan, and pure boss size. Sure the cons are I’m immediately part of an endangered species and our diet now consists of adapting to what is available. But that’s why this is my 5th option. I’m hoping I’ve been decent enough in my first life to land at least one of my top 3 picks in reincarnation!

4. Sea Turtle – The turtles from Finding Nemo played a huge role into sneaking this into the top 5. Some real chill dudes. This is a risky one folks. 50/50 you make it from your shell to the water. But once you do, your lifespan can last up to 50 years. Yes, I know I’ve chosen another endangered species. With a second chance at life, you gotta chase adventure. Nothing like hatching from an egg and going straight into a sprint for life against crabs, seagulls and even raccoons. An estimated 1 in 1,000 chance to even make it to adulthood. I’m banking on hatching on a beach with conservationists seeing my trip all the way through to the water. Once in, I just have to avoid jellyfish, small sharks, etc. Then it’s years of warm waters and all the enjoyment of scuba diving without the ear popping paranoia I encountered during my only attempt in the 6th grade. However, despite the thrill of survival, 1 in 1,000 chance pushes this down the list for me.

3. American Bald Eagle – Brian. Why do you so badly want to be endangered? Guess what guys.. once endangered, the American bald eagle is now considered of least concern as of 2007. Yay us for not killing off our national symbol of freedom! This is an easy pick. Only a 20 year lifespan, but it can fly, destroy prey with its massive talons, and is nationally adored. It builds the largest nest of any North American bird and has no true predators once grown. I think flying is almost as cool as being able to explore the ocean and nothing flies quite as majestically as the bald eagle. I mean look at this thing..

2. Great White Shark – I know I said you couldn’t pick your circumstances when being reincarnated. However, being born a shark is instant celebrity status do-do-do-do-do-do. A 70 year lifespan allows plenty of time to explore the ocean and feast upon all the delicacies of the sea. Main selling point for me was the breaching great whites I witnessed while watching shark week in 2011. Who knew sharks could do that? Only an Orca compared for me but I hate cold water and no chance after watching Free Willy and Blackfish. Nothing like roaming the ocean knowing you are the boss and seeing everyone cower away in fear.

1. Bottlenose dolphin – Another sea-dweller with a 40-60 year lifespan. I love to have fun and there’s not another animal out there that has more fun than the dolphin. Rumor has it, they’re the only animal that has sex, not just for procreation, but for pleasure. I don’t know what kind of sick scientist figured that out but it’s good enough for me. The speed on these things is incredible and they have teeth for hunting that make my second choice almost seem obsolete. They are extremely intelligent, can communicate effectively and are often seen riding waves and swimming along boats and their wakes. All sounds incredible to me. Plus the sex thing.